Russian Roulette
by Red-Dream
Summary: "I hate you, but I have better things to do right now than kill you. My glazed over eyes still flicker with hope." Told from Suou's point of view, during season 2, roughly around episode 4. Her thoughts on Hei as she perceives him. Teaser chapter for Spectrum of Color.


**Author's Note:** Sorry about the total lack of updates. Havent been in the writing mood lately and I was on vacation. So this came as an inspiration when I began to watch the second season, which is lacking compared to the first. Its also my way of easing back into writing, so while I like how it came out, it's still just practice. Enjoy.

ALSO- Im really sorry for writing Shion; I meant to write Suou, but the name sounded too masculine to be her, so I got confused. Totally sorry guys. I know it must be confusing imagining that.

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_Abusive._

The warm sting on her cheek was comforting, in a sick, lonely kind of way. She was unfamiliar with the experience of being physically set upon, so a sharp slap across her face from the unkempt and emotionally bereft man who killed her father and that she barely knew for more than three days was novel. Besides the nagging guilt of inadequacy that she somehow deserved the slap and the uncomfortable churning in her stomach that told her she should be enraged he dared to do it, her features remained calm. Logically, he had a reason. It even got her heart pumping.

"You used your ability. There's no hiding it, I can still tell."

He turned and stalked out of the room, flask in hand, taking a swig.

_Alcoholic._

Hei almost always had some kind of bottle of the poison with him, especially during extended periods of inactivity. He never ate; not that she could see. There was a reason he drank, of course. To layer his system with suppressants and ultimately forget some traumatic past experience for however long he managed to get himself drunk. A man so well versed in combat and technique would have no other reason for it. But again, she didn't bother to ask. Suou didn't care. He was still a murderer, and for that, he deserved to die. In the brief instances where she could feel herself slipping away and drops of humanity slipped down her face, Suou was curious. Everyone had a backstory, and with only memories of the people she knew and loved to keep her company, her thoughts naturally began to branch out from their fragile shelter to the environment around them.

_Murderer._

He killed like he drank. Casually and without regret. Perhaps even giddily, if he was capable of that. It was just another strike against him, something he would have to pay for in the end. For every life he ended, another empty bottle took its place and met concrete. When she stared at the shards and fragments littered across the ground, it reminded her of the life and broken dreams the lifeless body surely held before it crossed paths with the Black Reaper. What a fitting name. Hei knew only how to destroy, how to hurt, how to get his way. What could breed such a monster?

_Calculating._

He was rarely surprised. Of the few skirmishes they had with other Contractors, only once was he caught off guard and completely disabled, which led to her completely illogical decision to save his life by plunging them both into a freezing river. It was repaid with harsh words and rope handcuffs; she would have to keep that in mind next time he was about to die. He thought moves ahead when given the opportunity. He could do even better if he wasn't so intoxicated in self-pity and cheap liquor. He displayed every trait of a typical Contractor, and yet- what was his reimbursement? What did he have to give in return for using his powers? At first glance it would be drinking or getting himself drunk, but he did it so often and even when not using his powers that she dismissed the hypothesis quickly. The same went for the other daily habits he displayed. It must have been something small, insignificant and easily unnoticed. He had to have a payment; he was a Contractor.

_Misunderstood._

Suou could not deny he saved her, too. When the firing squad descended upon them, he shielded her under his cloak, which must have been bulletproof. He eliminated whatever forces stood to impede, capture or kill them, both at the docks and at the train yard. It was almost like he was a different man when there were bullets flying through the air; a faint ray of youth shone from beneath his black garbs, and there was a liveliness in his movement. Hei's gruff voice was suddenly clear. It might have been the adrenaline clouding her judgment, but she couldn't be certain. Not yet.

_Alone._

Hei didn't make friends, but he probably had an excess of enemies. With a personality as abrasive as his, only a façade, a mask like the white one he donned would convince anyone he was as harmless and pathetic as he looked. He could smile; oh yes, he knew how to lie without missing a beat. So when he dropped it around her and revealed all the ugliness in his heart, it was kind of special, as if he trusted her enough to be brutally honest, unwaveringly mean, and hit her, rude as it was. Their relationship was unsteady, but they both knew it was mutual for the time being. There was more behind that mask; behind the one he never took off from his heart. She didn't want to take it off yet, it wouldn't be appropriate this early. But maybe one day he would take it off for her, and she wouldn't have to see him as a piece of garbage anymore.

_Determined._

They almost always avoided detection. They traveled in depressing conditions, and lived under a suffocating atmosphere of gloom and fear from being hunted, but Hei never cracked. He never admitted it was hopeless, or suggested quitting and letting the world catch up to their tired heels. She needed to get to Tokyo, and while it would take some time and they were making stops along the way, he was pushing them along constantly, training her to survive, preparing her for the moment that she would complete her brother's call. Every moment was under his control, whether they knew what was coming or not, and he always took responsibility for his actions. In that regard, he could be trusted. Hei was disciplined. He must have seen a lot of combat, suffered through the loss of dear ones. That was the only thing people ever had anymore worth losing.

_Loyal._

He didn't abandon her, even though he could if he wanted. He didn't kill her, or rape her, even though he looked like he was guilty of such crimes. He didn't even have a reason to save her, train her, give her his money for food and get her to Tokyo. For a Contractor, he was making a string of awfully emotional decisions that were not guaranteed to end in his favor. Although, since this realization dawned on her, Suou conceded that it would not be right of her to go back on her ideals and let his tough brand of kindness go unrewarded. He could use a lesson on manners, but that was about it. Hei… really wasn't such a bad person, if she overlooked the death of her father and others.

_Mysterious._

He had powers, but no apparent payment. He was harsh to her, but kept her close anyway. He had a past, and he was drowning in alcohol to forget it. He seemed unrefined and undeserving, but his combat prowess was something to behold. Who was Hei? Where did he come from? What were his motives for helping her?

Suou blinked, staring blankly at the dark ceiling of their room. Moonlight filtered onto the bed through the curtains, hitting her emerald eyes with a gleam. A warm blanket that wasn't present when she curled herself into uncomfortable sleep covered her body. When she glanced over, the reason why was sitting in a chair.

Hei, covered in a cloak of shadows, was asleep by her bed, arms crossed and head down. He was still fully dressed, ready at a moment's notice to pull out a knife on any intruders. Judging by his slow and steady breath, he was in a light slumber.

Suou put her fingers to her lips, feeling the beginnings of a bitter smile tug at her mouth. She could forgive him for the murder eventually. She could thank him for the training and the help. She could even help him get over his own miseries.

But right about now, as a tingling sensation ran through her half naked body and made her shudder, she wanted to like him, too. Gentle arms grasped Hei's unconscious body and, though he jumped into a groggy state of alertness for a moment, he let himself be pulled onto the soft bed and snuggled up against.

He was an abusive, alcoholic, and calculating murderer, but he was also a misunderstood, lonely, determined, and loyal man. Hei was the Black Reaper, and she would be the white knight by his side.


End file.
